Dear Evan,

We had a good day today.  We got up.  Went to the zoo with cousins. Stayed for almost 4 hours.  Wiped every one of you out!  You got to go home with your cousin for a bit, but it was short lived.  They brought you home after an hour of play time and we loaded up again and headed out to your baseball practice.  We all stayed and watched : )  Once we got home, the bedtime routine kicked into full throttle and I was sure that once your little heads hit the pillow you would barely be able to say goodnight.

Not the case - having those expectations always puts me in a 'mood' when they don't go as planned : /

You, my Evan, came out of your bed for a few reasons.

First, you wanted to make sure I was ok.  You were so worried because of my cough.  I couldn't stop coughing.  I wasn't feeling good and you came out to check on me.  I encouraged you to get back into bed but you insisted that you cared for me.  You couldn't sleep because you were worried about me.

Your heart.  Its gold.

Then, you came out again after I scolded Raegan.  Your little chin was quivering and you could barely tell me what was wrong.  You felt bad for Raegan.  You felt really bad for Raegan because she has been told on her 'whole life' and you feel bad you told on her.  I grabbed you.  And held your face and told you to look at me.  I told you that I love Raegan.  I reassured you that I would not get mad at her but Im not happy with her telling you that and making you feel bad.  I told you that we all love her and she knows that.  I told you and asked you if you have ever heard me thank her for all her help and what a good girl she is.  You said yes.  And your quiver chin left.

My heart...now quivering.

And just as you were going back to bed out came Rae again, and this mama snapped.  At both of you.  As I mentioned earlier, those darn expectations!  It is now 10pm and Im wasted just as you are clearly overtired.  You cried.  I walked both of you back to bed.  Tucked you in.  Then calmed myself.

I had to tell you sorry.  I came back in to find you still rustling.  I layed next to you and told you I was sorry for getting upset.  You put your little arm around my neck and said the most magical words a sorry mom wishes to hear when her patience level has broken down to a very slim to nothin line:

"Its ok mom. I know you still love me."

I cried.

Then you you told me you were going to stay home tomorrow and not play with friends because of my cough.

My heart is so swollen, my chest can barely take it.

I left your room after rustling Raegan a bit to tell her sorry too.  And that I love her.  So much.

I came immediately to document.  As tears stream down my face...I wonder.  This mommy business...I am not worthy!

SUMMERTIME has begun with a bang!

First summer party...this is what we got.
12 stitches.
No pool for 2 weeks.
Awesome.
She has been a real trooper.
This happened on: the last day of school - first day of summer - my birthday - and the day we were supposed to head up to Bear Lake. Didn't think Bear Lake was in the cards...but it happened because she still wanted it too even though I was extremely skeptical. 
 No pool + No bike + No beach + No lake = No fun
BUT...
I was so wrong.
She rocked on her bike.  Was a champ at the pool.  And hobbled around with very little whimpering.
It was a good get-a-way.  Glad it still happened.

Can I just say...POOR EVAN.
He just asked me today...'Am I going to be sick all summer??"
This kids allergies are of another world...and a miserable one at that.
And He Does Not Complain.
In fact, I ask him 5000 times a day if he is ok and he snaps back - "IM FINE MOM...STOP WORRYING!"
He is not fine.  His eyes bulge with blisters from rubbing them so much.  His nose is covered in scabs surrounding the surface of his nostrils from wiping his boogers.  His cough is nasty.  And on top of it all he broke out with some kind of virus that created an itchy rash and gave him a low fever for a bit.
Bless him.
June.  Thanks for nothin.

I love it when all my kids are asleep.
All in a row.
This night Mayci had the company of a little friend doll tucked into her blankets right on her chest.
I seriously sat there for a minute thinking she was fake-sleeping.
She was out.

These two are buddies.
Mayci is so good to her.

When you say "blink!"
This is what you get.
I love it.

POOL TIME!
Went on a whim but prepped myself for a chase.
Thank goodness Wes LOVED the pool.
Evan is seriously the worlds best brother.
If your gonna have one boy - thank the lucky stars its Evan.
I do.
 every. single. day.
We scored.
Big time.

Like I said...she loved the pool.
And the small water table next to it : )

Its right about now that I wish I could freeze her.
I love this age...as busy as it is.

Coyote Gulch

The kids were lucky to have done this.  They had been talking about it for months.
The Coyote Gulch Backpacking Camping extravaganza!!
A week before this was supposed to happen, Shawn destroyed his back.
I mean...he had to get 2 epidurals of steroids.  Epidurals!
He asked if they hurt...I said not really when your in the middle of contractions : )
I didn't think this trip was possible.  He was DOWN.  Like I have never seen before.
I actually felt really bad for him...that means a lot.  Sad.
But with the shots and a little therapy I left it up to him to decide.  If it were up to me it would have been a big fat no!
He went.
And survived.
And it was a major success.
This picture says it all!

This is the first picture taken...before the trek began.
Auttie - all smiles.
Evan - nice wink.
Rae - hows your back?
Kade - what can I say.

Its a kids Heaven.
This is a definite must every year.
I can't wait to join them...this is complete nostalgia of my days at Lake Powell.
My favorite growing up.